Don't Panic, Mr Mainwaring. Don't Panic!

As squeaky bum time approaches, Les Cash channels his inner Corporal Jones

For anyone not born in the 70s or earlier, the title of this piece will mean nothing, but it’s a very famous punchline from a very successful sitcom. A group of old men formed a home guard army unit to defend the UK and at every regular calamity the line “Don’t Panic, Mr Mainwaring, Don’t Panic” would be called by Corporal Jones, the local butcher, as the wheels fell off!

Sound familiar?

If you are a Newcastle fan who has an account on X or follows our plethora of YouTube influencers you might see the similarities as one defeat in six has brought out our doom mongers saying we’ve blown the season and the Champions League is gone.

There’s a really simple explanation as to why we react like this every time things don’t go our way mind and it’s a reaction that is probably justified.

Being a long time fan I’ve seen many a false dawn. In fact they were the staple diet for us until that glorious day in March. As a fan base we just don’t cope with jeopardy that well. We have far too many bad experiences to recall, and that leaves us doubting things will go our way.

Truth is the Villa game was one step too far for our side: the same 11 men for the 7th game in a row against the most in-form team in the league with 11 wins in 12, 3rd game in 6 days… I could go on but you get my drift? Not having our leader in Eddie Howe is a concern as he’s the calm, calculated brain behind our successes and he’s needed at the moment, but otherwise things are good.

What goes in our favour is games now become weekly with nothing midweek, this gives those 11 players a chance to go through a normal routine for four weeks and get the job done.

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Villa are an exceptional team coached by an exceptional manager and we are living in cloud cuckoo land if we think we can just roll up and turn them over. We aren’t playing anyone bar Arsenal who are anywhere near as in form and skilled as Villa again this season. We have more than enough to beat Ipswich, Chelsea, and Everton at home and even go to Brighton where we don’t do well and win there.

According to Optima, 68 points is enough to get qualification and I can see us getting 9 points from here, so let’s just be sensible and trust in our team to produce. We have quality all over the pitch, and I would honestly make changes against Ipswich. It’s the perfect game to freshen it up. Joe Willock could start, maybe bring in Gordon, and I’d even consider starting Krafth and give Tripps a rest for a game. It could throw a bit of energy into the team when it’s needed and gives those rested that bit of time to get ready for Brighton which will be a tougher game.

Unfortunately, Spurs failed to be Spursy for us and beat Forest, but City play Villa Tuesday, so one or both will drop points. If, as expected, we overcome Ipswich, then the gap will be back up to 4 or 5 points between us and one of the three teams challenging us with four games to go. Suddenly things would look rosy again and the panic would recede.

I love being a Newcastle fan, it’s the best feeling in the world even though we’ve been rubiish most of the time. I genuinely think we are different now and it’s just time for calm heads, train well this week and get back on the winning shelf again.

I for one am happy where we are, I’m old enough and ugly enough to realise we aren’t going to win every game and do an Invincibles so we have to expect the odd bump in the road but I’m happy to think we can win three games from five and all this drama will be just a distant memory when we see our ball drawn in the Champions League draw on 28th August.

Les Cash