Five Years Ago - NUFC in Covid

Scott reflects on the summer 2020, the strangest one of our lives

This weekend, five years to the day, Newcastle were involved in an FA Cup quarter final. We got beat off of Manchester City. De Bruyne scored. So far, so normal. Unfortunately, that game was smack bang in the middle of when life was anything but normal.

Covid. It's only five years ago but it seems like a lifetime ago already.

It seems a bit frivolous to be writing about how football went at a time when hundreds of thousands of people died worldwide, but NUFC is a way of life and people find comfort in the club. Sometimes. Sometimes they have you pulling your hair out, but at least they create feelings, something severely lacking as the country lurches into panic, paralysis, and paranoia.

The country was ill equipped and as we realised what the word ‘furlough’ meant and we clapped for the NHS, football was way down the list of importance. Just above whether BBC Four would continue to show old Top of the Pops.

Meanwhile over in Minsk, Alexander Lukashenko, the Belarussian despot, stuck his fingers in his ears bravely on behalf of his people and for a few weeks the BETERA Premier league was so en vogue. The show must go on.

People were sitting in their front rooms with Dinamo Brest shirts on. They say every dog has its day and due to a worldwide pandemic, FC Slutsk had theirs. Every team didn't have a double entendre as a name, but it sure as hell helped if you were picking a team.

The world had turned so upside down that in the Premier League meetings (now done remotely on something called Teams), the world's best league (copyright) was in awe of the Belarussians. Not that they would admit it.

Safety was paramount, but if you could be safe and fulfill the broadcasting deals at the same time, we are all the better for it. For the morale of the country. Martyrs didn't come close.

Health secretary Matt Hancock said Premier League players should help the war, sorry Covid, effort by “taking a pay cut" and “play their part”. The word “sacrifices” was used.

This on his part turned out to be one of the biggest ‘Watch the birdie’ moments in history as he oversaw more Bungles than Rod, Jane and Freddy, and George and Zippy saw when filming ‘Rainbow’. One for the kids there.

Eventually, the itchy feet became too much. Germany had started and it was inevitable we would follow. Positive tests were conveniently a tiny percentage after rounds of testing and the show did go on. The Premier League was to reconvene in late June. As everyone was told to “Eat out to help out”, the football was back.

Every game is televised. 92 games in 40 days. Substitute boards disinfected. Players getting changed near skips in the car park, five subs and no handshakes. Jonjo Shelvey getting abused by someone in their bedroom in Newport. Liverpool resumed 25 points clear. No one cared

As for NUFC, where do we start?

It was, until everything shut down, demoralising. Consecutive goalless home games against Burnley, Oxford and Norwich, hand on heart, almost had me chucking it in. I had seen enough of Ashley and Bruce to last a lifetime. I had got to the stage where I wanted other teams to score against us. It was Newcastle in name, but we had lost her a long time ago.

A vital bit of Saint- Maximin magic had seen us get a bit of breathing space by winning at Southampton on March 7th, then it all happened. Our next appearance came on June 21st.

Only the Cheltenham festival and the Six Nations Rugby escaped cancellation because Boris Johnson wanted to go. Atlético Madrid ill-advisedly came to Liverpool for a Champions League tie. Northern Italy was on its knees. I needed a break from the circus, but not in this way.

For me, the covid break did not make me fall in love with them again, far from it. Absence made the heart go and do something else. Family and friends were things that mattered and people were dying.

But here we were, Newcastle were playing inter squad games and then playing Boro and Hull with Bruce having to actually train them, like the PE teacher on Kes, but with a mask on.

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St James’ was eerie. The seagulls could be heard as a throw-in was taken. The roaring summer sun glistened off the empty grey seats where YOU would normally sit, or stand. I remember taking my other half into Newcastle just before games restarted to pick up a work laptop and it felt as if you were the only person on earth. The players would have felt like that as well.

Lascelles, Yedlin and Hayden let the hair grow like the rest of us. That proved some solace for me, who, at that point, looked like I was auditioning for a Grateful Dead album.

Something that did come over from Germany was fake crowd noises. I hated it. It was used to try and make things seem more real but had the counter effect. Quite an effort in this environment.

First up was Sheffield United. Intensive it wasn't, but it wasn't ever going to be. We took the lead when Enda Stevens completely missed the ball and Maxi (as everyone but me called him) drilled in. Matt Ritchie’s swerving 20 yarder and a rare Joelinton goal sent everyone back into the bedroom happy. Soulless didn't come close.

We seemed to be quite at home with this situation. Bruce benefitted from no fans in the stadium. He avoided the roastings and walkouts. Some players sensitive to crowd consternation like Joelinton and Longstaff played like a load was lifted off their shoulders.

A 6pm midweek visit to Bournemouth proved this. We absolutely murdered them. Part Brazil 1970, part Keegan 95, as you ate your tea on the first day of July. Dwight Gayle, Longstaff, Miguel Almirón and Valentino Lazaro were on target in a 4-1 win. In an orange strip.

Bruce was on the offensive afterwards, saying if we could “Get top ten, it would show up a lot of people who wrote me off” ….”It's disrespectful but makes me roll my sleeves up “. Stop laughing at the back.

Then came the big one. United had edged out Oxford in February live on BBC 1 and someone in the away end got over excited. Remember that? Of course you do?Unfortunately, away ends were now things of the past like Gaslights and Betamax video players.

Of course we drew Manchester City and for the first time since we started again, I was vaguely interested. Winning a cup in covid still counts.

We went 1-0 down when the ref spotted a push by Schär. I never saw it sitting in the garden. Penalty. 1-0 De Bruyne. Some things don’t change. City fans always sing “Were not really here” and it certainly was apt on that day, as we parked the bus. The bus was de-loused afterwards.

Incredibly we got a chance despite the phoney war going on in our tactics.The ball was played across to Gayle six yards out, but he blazed high into the cavernous stand. The grey seat reclined sharply as the ball rapped off it. A player who never let us down in front of goal, did just that.

No, a cup in covid doesn't count. They beat us 5-0 soon after in the league as well. That would have happened no matter what. We drew with Aston Villa, Bruce's old pal Elmohamady equalising Gayle’s early goal. Covid rules stopped him celebrating with the Egyptian, unfortunately.

Then an entertaining 2-2 draw with West Ham on a Sunday delayed us from playing another game of Connect 4. Almirón and Shelvey were our scorers. At this point we were floating around in 13th place.

We lost our way as the season eventually ended, losing to Watford, Tottenham, and Liverpool and drawing with Brighton away 0-0. I can remember absolutely nothing about this game. At all. Except they had cardboard cutouts of supporters' faces in the crowd which is so, so Brighton. That much so, you could almost smell the Mullet and the shit hot Ecuadorian teenager.

On the 18th May 2021 (The end of the season which started on September 12) fans were eventually allowed back in. 10,000 home fans saw Joe Willock score for the 6th successive game and we beat Sheffield United. I didn't partake. I didn't feel at all ready. For some people it was like returning to a Cathedral or Mosque. I bided my time before I got my prayer mat out.

I have caught covid five times and almost exclusively after football matches, but i'm one of the lucky ones. A lot of people didn't get to celebrate us winning the League Cup in March with loved ones after they didn't get through Covid. Everyone knows someone.

It was a bizarre time and one which has never been really reflected on. Newcastle United life comes at you fast. As does life itself. Never take it for granted.

It's only five years ago, can you believe it?

Scott Robson