Flashback Friday - Newcastle Utd 0-1 Fulham, 16 May 2009

Scott Robson delves once more into the depths of our collective trauma

Saturday 16 May 2009, Premier League.

NEWCASTLE 0, FULHAM 1 (Kamara 41)

Att: 52,114.

NEWCASTLE: Harper, Beye, S Taylor, Bassong, Duff, Guthrie (R Taylor 62), Butt, Nolan, Gutierrez (Lovenkrands 76), Martins, Viduka (Carroll 80) .

FULHAM: Schwarzer, Pantsil, Hughes, Hangelund, Konchesky, Dempsey, Etuhu, Murphy, Gera, Nevland (Johnson 75), Kamara

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Let's face it over the years, Fulham at home mostly has the look of that meme of Alan Partridge shrugging his shoulders. Older fans will point to Supermac returning as manager to thump us in front of the BBC cameras. More recently there’s Lewis Miley scoring his first United goal last year. Personally, I wont forget a hammering in November 2004 when I strode through Leazes Park to see my newborn son in the RVI.

For calamitous reasons though only one game against the Cottagers (stop laughing at the back) comes close and it's late May 2009. Yes. That one.

Newcastle had been in freefall for years. The inertia creeped the longer Ashley got involved. In my opinion the club never ever really recovered from a Champions League preliminary round exit to Partizan five years previous. Bobby Robson soon went and Souness came in.

You see where I'm going here.

Still though, being unwatchable was one thing, but being relegated was another. Big clubs always get out of it. Look at Everton. Newcastle wouldn't go down. It was bad enough the club were even contemplating it.

The season was a disaster from start to finish. Keegan started it as manager before that quiet stabilising figure Dennis Wise signed two players on the evidence of You Tube under his nose and Keegan quit and later sued the club. Then the bombshell that Joe Kinnear, who had not managed a team in years, would replace him. That would forever remain my weirdest moment as a United supporter when I heard the news.

Like Kennedy being shot, you know where you were.

Kinnear’s few months are for another day, but he had a heart attack in February and in April the only person who could save us - Shearer, came in. With no management experience and a bunch of arseholes to deal with, even Shearer couldn't do anything. However in all the chaos and losses we had three winnable home games against Portsmouth, Boro and Fulham. I clung to those like a rock climber as he neared the summit.

Despite all evidence to the contrary, I was sure we would be ok.

Portsmouth was a hellish 0-0 on a Monday night before Boro came to town in a seemingly winner stays up battle royale. (Both of us went down hilariously for the mackems). We were superb and won 3-1 and all we needed to do was beat Fulham to complete our escape.

The sun belted down and we wore a new Adidas top which I have long loved due to the next season. Even Newcastle couldn't mess this up. Surely.

Well, for 45 minutes we played like we were in mid-table and not a care in the world. Fulham dictated the pace and the play of the game, slowly draining the noise and hope out of the stands, which was replaced by nerves and people wising up. Every cross seemed straight into the hands or stands.

Martins did hit the post on 15 minutes, but even then he should have scored and by half time we were 1-0 down as Diomansy Kamara slammed into the Gallowgate net after Fulham broke and Nevland squared to him, with Taylor having stopped expecting a foul that never was in midfield. It was actually offside but I have never heard anyone who complains about it.

Shearer’s halftime had to be as good as anything he did as a player as results were not going our way anywhere else either. Second half was better but we looked scared stiff. Every forward pass was a chore and no one wanted the ball. What we did do was put Schwarzer under pressure. It was all we had left.

He almost punched into his own net before, from the resultant corner, Viduka (looking like a huge porpoise about to be harpooned) headed in powerfully. Somehow it got ruled out and I'm still not sure why 15 years on. Again though, I don't know anyone who says this cost us survival.

As Radiohead sang, we did it to ourselves.

Soon after Bassong was sent off for a professional foul and it probably was game over at that point, in all honesty. Although it was also a fair point to say we might have been better without a player who was terrible that day.

Schwarzer denied Martins and then crucially in the last seconds he somehow tipped wide from Butt, just as it looked like a player not in our good books would save our skin in true Newcastle style. Like Blackadder going over the top, we always thought we would have been saved at the death. Alas, no cunning plan from Shearer. Though Andy Carroll came on.

This was a season's culmination and no hard luck story. The team above should not have gone down. They were 11th on January 10th, but go down they did, and no Newcastle team in history deserved it more. We were a shambles.

We may have meekly went down a week later at Villa Park but we really went down against Fulham. Hull’s point took it out of our hands and it was the last of those home games we had to save ourselves. Villa Park, looking back, just confirmed what we all knew.

I won't forget the deathly silence at full time of this game. All I remember, really. We aren't stupid . We know our own sides, we all knew that this team didn't have the balls to win the week after.

It was over. No tears, just the realisation that this shower had blown it.

Relegated by Fulham. The final insult.

Scott Robson