TF Match Report - Newcastle Utd 3-0 Ipswich Town

Crunch time in the Premier League as the Mags take another small step back towards Europe's elite competition. Ed Cole was in the stands.

After United were given a proper old fashioned hiding in north of Birmingham last weekend, calculators across Tyneside had been dusted off during the week as the required number of points from the final five games was estimated, calculated and speculated. A favourable variable was thrown into the equation after Villa lost in the last minute to City on Tuesday, and the answer most United fans were left with was actually, pretty straightforward. Win our home games, and we can start planning the route to Barcelona, Bayern Munch, Lazio, Roma.

So forget what Chelsea, Forest, and the rest of the competitors are up to. Just win our home games, starting with the Tractors Boys - who rolled up from Suffolk in the April sunshine - whose fans fully expected to bid farewell to the Premier League at the end of this 3pm St James’ Saturday kickoff.

It was a funny old game. Or at least, it was a funny old first half. It was a 45 minutes that seemed to have everything - except perhaps any quality. Nerves were definitely a factor. Bruno and Schär were repeatedly guilty of misplacing passes and overhitting through balls. The latter was allowed as much space as he wanted to repeatedly wander forward as the opposition clearly felt he offered no threat (they were right). Time and again we were forced down the flanks. Crosses were flashed across the face but Isak was guilty of snatching at efforts. Ipswich sensed there could be an opportunity to pounce, and had obviously been given the instruction to go out with a bang as they snapped into tackles, and wound up the home fans.

On two separate occasions the ref (who had a shocker) stopped the game for reasons unbeknownst to all onlookers. One seemed as though Enciso had perhaps left a foot in on Willock, then Sam Morsey was maybe guilty of something similar. But the wonders of modern football mean that if you were watching from home or listening on the radio, you’ll know far more than your matching reporter with regards to what was actually going on - other than Ipswich making themselves a massive nuisance.

So desperate the boys in blue were to cause a fuss that even when Ben Johnson had a chance to go through 1v1 with Pope, he chose instead to dramatically throw himself to the ground, earning a justified yellow. A few minutes later and Johnson was marching down the tunnel, after a foolish pull on Alex Isak - two of the stupidest yellow cards you could hope to see, and surely an invitation for the home side to take the game by the scruff of the neck.

They certainly tried. Tonali thundered a shot off the bar and Bruno had an overhead kick that was somehow headed off the line. The huffing and puffing continued but still lacked incision, until Murphy was released down the inside right channel and blatantly hauled over by the defender. The ref, who by now seemed to have lost all authority, waved play on, and the howls of incredulity that reverberated around the stadium increased tenfold as simultaneously the fourth official announced one minute of added time. One minute! After a red card, 3 VAR checks, a substitution, and god knows what else. Honestly, the mind boggles.

Regardless, the penalty decision was overturned and we had a chance to go in front on the stroke of half time. Isak duly did the business, and fans hastened to the concourses scratching heads and booing the ref but nevertheless relieved. 1-0 up against ten men who were about descend into the Championship. Surely this was as good as done.

THE SPECIAL - Ipswich at home.

And in truth, it was. Ipswich’s main first half threats had come through Enciso and the impressive Delap - who showed a scrappy determination that would’ve gone down well with his potential suitors - but both were rendered redundant in the second 45, as time and again United overlapped down the right and lofted balls into the area that ricochet to safety. Until Dan Burn decided he’d have enough of all that and, in a manner similar to what was previously seen against Paris St Germain, leapt with the power of twelve bulldozers and forced the ball, the Ipswich keeper, and a few defenders for good measure, all into the back of the net.

Two nil, and the rest of the game was a breeze. Eddie rang the changes and Osula got his first Premier League goal, heading in from a corner, showing strength to back up his pace and trickery. He could end up being a very decent player.

Miley was equally impressive off the bench, and seems to be growing half a foot every few month. He worked well alongside the ever-impressive Tonali to keep possession and break the lines - Bruno and Gordon should’ve added more goals.

A word too, for Sven Botman, who could be crucial in the run-in, as both Schär and Burn looked at times like they were beyond exhausted. The Dutchman was given one of the ovations of the day when he made his first appearance since February, and it was reassuring to see him throw himself into a few challenges, indicating a fully complete recovery.

So three points, and another game ticked off. Switch focus to Forest and Chelsea and Villa if you like, but in reality we shouldn’t give two shites what happens in anyone else’s games. Beat the teams in front of us - starting with Brighton next week - and everything else is extraneous.

The last word of the day has to go to the manager. Seeing Eddie back in the dugout was more than a relief, and it was poignant that the outpouring of love he received from both sets of fans, was then mirrored throughout the afternoon with repeated unified choruses of ‘there’s only one Bobby Robson’. I do have a soft spot for Ipswich, and their fans deserve praise for staying to the end and applauding their team as they descend back into the Championship. It will be a welcome sight to see them back in the Prem soon, but in the meantime lads, do us a favour - say hello to Sunderland.

(Oh - and three cheers for the old fella who, at half time, walked into the gents and was met with the wall of vape smoke that has become the norm in recent times, and yelled out to the assembled masses; ‘Fuck me lads - good news. It looks like they’ve chosen a new fuckin Pope!’)

Ed Cole

@edsamuelcole.bsky.social