TF Preview - Toffees (h), 25 May 2025, 4pm

We've got this haven't, we? Nick previews our final-day decider

Premiership, St James’ Park

‘Live’ on absolutely nothing (legally), SKY plumping for a virtual testimonial match on Merseyside instead.

So, here we are. The final match of a truly memorable season. Probably the best the vast majority of us have ever witnessed. However, there is one more push required. Three points will see a swift return to the top table of European football, and it’s David Moyes’ Everton who stand in our way.

As usual, it’s been a pretty turbulent campaign for our visitors. Early on, they found themselves staring down the barrel of (yet another) possible relegation with an outdated manager, and the nightmare prospect of beginning life in their shiny, new dockside arena* as a Championship club.

However, this time around there was no ridiculous points deduction. A major buyout and a shrewd ‘hot seat’ appointment turned the tide. Out went the gravelly Northamptonshire dulcet tones of Sean Dyche, to be replaced by the upbeat, Glaswegian lilt of David Moyes.

This was an obvious move, and it came just at the right time. He’s had moderate success throughout his managerial career, but only really properly failed when presented with the twin ‘poisoned chalices’ of the ‘Mancunian’ Reds and AFC Chickentown.

His previous stint at Goodison was a long one, and the Toffees were generally a much stronger outfit than the version of more recent times. At West Ham, he arrived in a ‘Red Adair’ temporary role, saved them from relegation, then proceeded to deliver a European trophy as permanent head coach. After a season of Lopetegui & Potter, what the Hammers’ faithful wouldn’t do to turn back the clock. I like the guy and am pleased to see him doing well, to be honest.

Results quickly improved for Everton and with an already doomed Championship yo-yo scenario occurring below them, they entered the final stages of the season in relative comfort for the first time in a few years. I’m sure they’ll be hoping for more in the future, but it will more than do for now.

How will they view this Sunday’s fixture? Well, it means nothing to them in terms of final positioning. Whatever happens they’ll start and finish the day in our old favoured haunt of 13th. On the plus side for us, their defenders Tarkowski, Coleman and Branthwaite appear to be fettled; the flip side to this are the demands of the aforementioned manager, and a mackem in goal who will be pumped up to put a spanner in our collective works. Attacking midfielder, N’Dyaie also gives me touch of concern. Looks a real player.

The Magpies will enter this one praying that our Swedish centre forward will declare himself fit, and that all of our ‘purple’ players turn up. Many Newcastle sides of the past would fluff their lines in this situation. Surely not this current crop though?

On Sunday gone, the Magpies’ squad depth issues were once again laid bare at Arsenal fam innit. Without Isak, the manager turned to Callum Wilson, who, I’m afraid, looks finished at this level. He put out what he considered to be his strongest XI, but due to injury and a lack of signings for three windows, the bench was largely made up of bairns, the odd has-been, and goalkeepers. One of them, nearly as old as me. It’s far from ideal, and in the world which followed Jürgen’s demanded ‘five subs,’ quality from the bench is absolutely key. This is a situation which clearly must be addressed in the summer.

However, this brings with it its own further set of questions. How much will we actually have to spend? Without sales, £50-£60M? Can we cash in on the likes of Longstaff and Willock? We’ll know if we can improve our financial position by early Sunday evening. If we find ourselves in next season’s über-lucrative Champions League, this should help matters.

Another conundrum is whether we lose any of our ‘crown jewels.’ This is much trickier to assess. In a perfect world, the likes of Alex & Anthony would be enthused by a Cup win and European football to the point they wouldn’t consider going anywhere else. However, I think it’s clear that our Liverpudlian wide man has never looked quite the same since last summer’s move home fell through, and our Swedish sensation is now one of the most coveted strikers in Europe. Always remember, their agents don’t eat without the big pay days, and there are a select few clubs who can offer much higher wages and a greater possibility of continued success. Whilst losing them may seem unthinkable, imagine the squad depth you could have with £250M+ to spend. All in all, whichever way it goes, it’s still a decent perch to sit on.

Anyway, back to the match in hand. With 3rd - 7th currently separated by just three points and varying goal differences, it’s going to be a mental Sunday afternoon of nerves. Ups, downs, and broon troosaz will be the order of the day.

Whilst we’d love to already be ‘home & hosed,’ had someone offered you this unlikely sounding scenario back in the Autumn when we last played these, you’d have snapped their hand off. I was at Goodison that afternoon. It was a major 0-0 dull-fest. We were marginally the better of two pretty average looking sides, and of course AG fluffed a pen at the Gwladys Street End, much to the feral glee of the locals. Two quick fire defeats followed versus Brighton then Chelsea, and we found ourselves in 12th position heading into November. Seemingly going nowhere fast.

So, to have it in our hands at a pumped up St James’ at the final knockings is really all you can ask for.**

I think we’ll win on Sunday, but I reckon it might require patience. We know if we play anything near to our best, we’ll have too much for them. I’m going to plump for 2-0 to the Magpies. I also expect to see a recently maligned AG to feature heavily. He certainly owes them (and possibly us) one.

Here’s hoping….

This is obviously my final preview of the season. I’d like to give thanks to the (cough) legions of you who bother to read our various weekly insights. And from myself, Lee, Grace, Charlie and erm ‘Freeman’ we hope you all have a great summer. We’ll see you in Europe next season, whatever form it may take. HTL.

Nick Clark

X : @Clark5Nick; Bluesky: @njc1892.bsky.social

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*The Bramley Moore Dock Arena is to be given the moniker of the ‘Hill Dickinson Stadium.’ This has engendered a fair bit of piss taking from other supporters. However, the international law firm who were formed in Liverpool some 68 years before the Toffeemen came into existence are paying what is being described as ‘one of the largest stadium naming right deals in Europe.’ Hill Dickinson have also pledged to work closely with ‘Everton in the Community,’ helping to increase the reach and impact of the Club’s charitable programmes.

Doesn’t sound too bad after all now, does it?

I’m writing all of this to highlight once again a major issue at Newcastle United. In the land of PSR, where turnover is king, our commercial dept have added Adidas, Sela & Noon. Fair do’s, but the former, well I think many could’ve sorted. The latter two, both ‘shoo ins’ from Saudi organisations.

Whilst they uplift season ticket prices, meaning that Gallowgate Enders will be paying more than the Premiership winning Kopites next season, I think it’s fair to point out that this move in reality adds little to our overall commercial position (£3.5/£4M?), whilst adding further financial burden to a support who dwell in one of the lesser places of affluence in the UK. Surely, a better route would’ve been stadium naming rights, training kit/ground sponsorships? It really is becoming an ever larger elephant in an increasingly smaller room.

** Personally, I hope the people with dinosaur costumes leave them at home. Like most jokes, it was funny the first time. On the fourth & fifth occasion, less so. Continued japery in this form is unlikely to buck this trend. Plus, I really don’t think it bothers Wah Jordan marra that much. He’s definitely matured from the spoilt charva who spat his dummy out when we beat them 3-2 under Rafa. Get behind the lads & fuck him.