Try a Little Kindness - We Have Nothing To Lose

I had a messy Covid. By the time it was resolved, I was back in the UK after 15 years overseas, stressed and considerably less well-off.

Shortly after returning, I was in Tesco sorting SIMs for phones. A lot of information exchanged later I’m told it’ll be tomorrow before they’re ready. I huff and puff and come back the next day. I’m met by a young woman who doesn’t know anything about the SIM and it looks like I’m back at square one so I get all arsey and “this isn’t good enough” etc etc.

The woman, who I suddenly realise has had a bad morning, stops me and says: “I’m sorry but I am going to cry”. A nanosecond later I realise what an arsehole I am and apologise and we wait till she’s okay and we work it all out between us. I got my SIM and all it took was patience and decency from me.

Fast forward three years and I’m settled. My daughter who had all the same stresses as me, is happy in her new school and is all caught up. The teachers have been brilliant. Not just experts in their field but kind, compassionate and caring, well above and beyond their job descriptions.

And then this weekend I clicked on our awful town Facebook group. And there are a couple of dozen people weighing in on teachers because their kid isn’t allowed to go to toilet multiple times during lessons. This, apparently, contravenes their human rights. For me, it’s personal because my sisters are teachers. My brother-in-law is a teacher. I know how much they care but, more than that, I know they know kids.

Which brings me to my final story. During the messy post-Covid years when I was just trying to make everything right again, I had four jobs in quick succession. It was a very difficult time. From having a successful career, I was starting to question not just my ability, but also my sanity.

Unemployed again, I was asked to apply for a position and ….not only did I get it….my god, I f*cking love it.

I feel like I’ve come home.

It’s a radical departure from what I’ve done before and there were months when I didn’t understand a word anyone was saying. I survived due to the kindness of colleagues. Colleagues who owed me nothing but kept an eye on me and talked me through everything. I love my team - a diverse group of the kindest most lovely people I have ever met.

And all of the above has changed me.

And it means I find following Newcastle United via social media genuinely upsetting now. I can’t go near it for days after a defeat. So, as regards the club, I’ll try and apply the lessons I’ve learned.

You don’t know what anyone else is going through.

What a player brings to the pitch is about decades of training, topped up with what they learned last week. It’s about their colleagues and the support they offer. It’s also about their lives and what’s going on in their world - from their relationship with their partners to how their kids are getting on at school. Happy players play well.

Trust the experts

Who do I think should be in Newcastle’s next starting 11? I like and trust Eddie Howe. I trust his relationship with his coaches, his medical team, his sports psychiatrists and the players themselves. I trust his eyes to watch the players and his brain to judge not only their sharpness but also their frame of mind. We share our opinions freely without a fraction of the information at hand that Eddie uses to make decisions.

Having a platform is not the same as having expertise

In the old days, we might have bitched in the pub but that is not the same as criticising on social media. Particularly platforms that reward extreme views with higher engagement. I can’t even listen to a recording of my horrible nasal wobbly voice. I cannot imagine playing in a Premier League game in front of millions knowing that my every move, and potentially my mistakes, will be watched and re-watched and argued over. I don’t know how anyone can live with that.

To survive the modern game, footballers must avoid all forms of social media while also knowing that it’s out there and it’s brutal. Imagine that nagging away at you.

Our current manager, like Rafa, like Kevin, plays for the fans and deserves their respect for what he has achieved. Our players are the best set of lads we’ve ever had. Not a wrong ‘un among them.

Kindness pays dividends

We all have a viewpoint and that’s part of football but we surely know that social media meanness does not help our team. Supporters must support. It’s the literal definition of how we help raise our players’ game.

You can be absolutely sure that the coaching staff at Newcastle United are demonstrating all manner of kindness and assistance to build up players so they are in the right frame of mind to play. Why, as a supporter would you want to undermine that? Particularly when it comes to our local players. We are not just their supporters, we are their community.

I’d love to know what is wrong with us mentally that we rate our own lower than newcomers to the North East.

On Monday nights I watch my daughter train with her football team. Now 11, they’ve been together for a couple of years. They didn’t even know the rules when they started.

When I’m there I often see other kids as young as six who look incredible. Passing and moving like pros and hitting the ball into the roof of the net. When I was a kid we just lumped it and ran on massive pitches. The game, even at the lowest local level, is different now. It’s been developed with technical expertise at all levels and with kindness too.

It’s time for supporters to progress too and make that leap. Support, trust, be kind.

Get behind the lads.

United.

Steve Jackson