Murray Mint?

It couldn't be, could it? A dry run for a temporary relocation? Scott mulls it over.

Before politics in this country became a daily episode of ‘The Thick of it’, there used to be a thing called the “Silly season”, when Parliament, to all intents and purposes, fucked off and Law Courts didn’t sit. You used to get stories in the papers like a cat was rescued from a tree or, even better, a vegetable, any vegetable was deemed phallic enough to be in the tabloids.

We are in a silly season at NUFC at the minute. Post season (thankfully) and pre-World Cup, United are slipping in highly targeted red meat for the masses. Some hit the spot, like buying up some of Leazes Terrace. But some don't. Like the appointment of a People officer. Either way, we've seen more things leaked post Fulham than we had seen in the six months previously.

One thing dropped late last week which was extremely bizarre. The friendly versus Everton that was to be played at half five on a weekday afternoon in another country’s capital city and cost between 40 and 80 quid, £90 if you want to sit behind Pickford. All interested parties need to contact that noble company for the paying punter - Ticketmaster, not NUFC who will not give you a loyalty point for the privilege.

Murrayfield, out of nowhere, suddenly occupied the overworked minds and souls of the Newcastle United support. Whereas most other teams’ supporters are wondering which marauding midfielder from the World Cup they are going to sign, we are wondering whether we are all going to have to go up the A1 or East Coast Main Line every other week to watch us play.

Never ever change.

For that I'm quite proud of us all. Let's start a ridiculous rumour and run with it. Guess what, I'm running that little bit further with it. It's silly season after all.

Could Newcastle move to Murrayfield while the ground gets redeveloped? Oh go on then, let's discuss.

The alternatives are all no go’s. Our friendly neighbours in Sunderland and Middlesbrough would be watching hell freeze over before they agreed to that. No way. Even zany Americans, or Jamie Reuben, would think twice about that.

Carlisle? Anyone who's been there to watch us play will agree they don't like us either and although Brunton Park is a big ground for their level, nearly 18,000 would mean it would be like a raffle to see us play and neither the A69 or the Victorian train line could cope.

Next? Gateshead ? 11,800 as it stands. Major redevelopment work could be done, but at massive costs and it would probably take as long to do as it would ours. That should stay as it is.

Which leaves where? It's no good looking South. Leeds and Hull are nearest. So, are the powers that be looking North? Tottenham played at Wembley which is around 14 miles away - with us not having that luxury, could we feasibly use Murrayfield?

The Scottish national rugby team stadium has a capacity which dwarfs ours (67,000), and to be fair is available quite a lot of the year. It takes one hour 24 minutes on the train.

The owners of the stadium, the SRU, have been keen to diversify events at the stadium. The days of three six nations games (plus various showpiece games) being able to sustain a huge bowl like Murrayfield are gone.

They have been twisting the arms of the notoriously edgy Edinburgh City Council to let them have more events there. Twelve concerts a year, instead of six were agreed last year, which saw the likes of Swifty, AC/DC and Oasis play there. Chief Executive Alex Williams also hoped Boxing, Darts and UFC would follow suit.

The new direction is being pushed by Williams, a former House of Fraser CEO and someone who turned Goodwood from a run-of-the-mill race course to a big money spinner. In an interview in 2025, however, he said that football wasn't on the agenda.

“That’s not a long term commitment for us. Some of the challenges are that the City doesn't like hosting football and we want to be great partners for the City”.

Strange thing to say when Heart of Midlothian plays within walking distance, and although Hibernian are in Leith, most traffic for Easter Road would enter via Edinburgh City centre.

Talking of Hearts, they played temporarily at Murrayfield twenty odd years ago while Tynecastle was being developed and again in 2017 when delays to the new stand meant they had no option. Manchester United, Rangers, Lyon and Napoli have faced each other lately, and the centenary passed last year with the promise of more to come.

Edinburgh is such an attractive prospect that these games are always well attended, but Hearts fans always bemoaned the atmosphere in their time there and it just isn't a football stadium. The views are often terrible apparently.

Plus it's not great inside. After complaints for many years upgrades are in the pipeline. Literally. The much derided toilets get some tender love and care, so those two from Marseille should be ok.

Money always talks and United could be offering a lot to play 18 times, plus cup games, in a stadium that hasn't had that sort of commitment - ever.

Edinburgh council would not have that, I'm afraid.

The Oasis concerts, although highly lucrative for the City, were not fondly remembered by the locals. Plus it was chaos trying to get hotels and accommodation, and despite being one of the most touristy cities on the planet, it laid bare the shortcomings within Auld Reekie, as homeless people were shunted out of hotels to appease the Gallagher fans. Imagine being at home on Hogmanay?

How would it actually work for us?

I mean I'm an idiot. I'm going to this match in August because I fancy a night away, not because I want to see James Tarkowski play and I would go again if we played there. BUT….

Remember what it was like last season in January? We were at home every other day for weeks and even the most exuberant fan got tired of it all. Imagine us playing Crystal Palace on a Tuesday in January after getting soaked at work all day, then having to get on a train to Edinburgh and get back. Anyone who was on the train back from Edinburgh after we played Hibs on Joelinton's debut would agree that it was hell on earth.

Could the club pay for travel? That would be unsustainable, unsafe, and ridiculous. 40,000 plus fans moving en masse to another country. Yeah that will happen.

The Premier League would fawn over the idea. UEFA probably not so much, but it all comes down to money and Newcastle have an abundance of that, but not an abundance of acceptable alternatives.

On the face of it, Newcastle might just be playing a friendly. They tend to have a Scottish game. I've seen us play Airdrieonians, Dundee United, Motherwell, Celtic, Hearts, Hibernian and Rangers in friendlies and the locality suits them as well after years of travelling. I suppose we played a friendly match last year in Suwon, South Korea but it doesn't mean we are moving there.

Let’s not spoil the rumours with cold hearted facts though, eh?

Yes, it's a silly season, it probably won't happen but it's not as ridiculous, once you look at it. If it means stopping at St James’ would you do it?

Very interesting or a load of old bullshit? Either way, the silly season is still alive and well. Where’s that rabbit that looks like Brian Blessed?

Scott Robson

Image: Calum404, CC-BY 4.0