Superb piece Scott. Great start to the day. The only loss so far that lessen our squad is Bruno. Never understood the passion many of our fans had for Tonali. Name one game last season that he controlled / ran or seriously influenced???? No, neither can I. AG could have been so much more. Again take his pens away when did he show up. Bruno was critical to that team but that team could only play one way and when he wasn't there it collapsed.
SSN and all the mainstream say we are crying in our beer over selling that lot. As we all know they TalkSh*te.
A riotous read Scott , the Tony bloom gag a belter, agreed Jaissle either going to be a Meister or a Scheister with no middle ground but hopefully we don’t have to move on to Newcastle 3.0 too quickly!
The Bloom model isn't working so well for my Other Half's team since the tanned, bearded one decided to jump ship after a year to go and manage at Mordor.
Duffed out of the Champions League qualifier to a 6-0 aggregate to a team that finished 26th in the Europa League last season, beaten by 2 goals in the last 5 minutes at Aberdeen at the weekend and spanked 6-1 at the real Stadium of Light last night.
It's maybe not the best model to follow if everything doesn't align perfectly
Agree totally. Clean slate, new broom and let’s see if these players can play. If NUFC can make the most of now being an unknown quantity, it could be a lot of fun. I disagree with your call it will work amazingly or crash/burn. We’ll more likely win a few, draw a few, lose quite a few and end up mid table. The fun will be in the seeing. Enjoy!
Onwards & upwards...if they don't want to be here then get them gone.That goes in the stands too, I'm really hoping the day trippers & experience hunters sod off somewhere else. ✊🏁
Great piece Scott. I think we'll surprise a lot of people this season. especially Arsenal (OK I hope not think). I've seen the training video and am really impressed.
Of course this comes with the caveat we need some serious reinforcements in the next couple of weeks but I am majorly optimistic.
There are still some glaring gaps in the squad that I am concerned about and not currently even seeing rumours about us filling. Both full-back positions need cover and a centre forward would have been my number one priority at the start of the summer. One, or both, of Woltemade and Wissa need shifting out to make room for a replacement, although we'd be looking at taking a massive loss on both of them.
Too funny. Honestly, I was thinking about the same thing yesterday after reading about Brunos departure.
Some of the time these rebuilds do crash and burn. Once in a blue moon they mesh quickly and catch fire. I'm just hoping they can adapt quickly, address deficiencies when they arise, and end the season with a decent club...
And stay up. It would be nice if we weren't in a relegation battle all season. Seeing as I've never heard of half of these new guys before they signed, I'd call that a win.
‘We secretly love it when we crash & burn as well’. No we don’t! I’ve no desire to go back to watch the kind of rubbish served up during the Ashley years or with Ossie’s Army in 91/92. I agree entirely that we shouldn’t keep anyone who doesn’t want to be there & I also agree that our ‘new model’ has more or less been forced on us by the PSR rules & regulations that straightjacket any team wanting to really challenge the top 6. I also agree that this basically means we’ve joined Sunderland, Brighton, Bournemouth etc to be a feeder club for those top 6, with the outside possibility of a cup run/win to give something to aim for. And, to a certain extent, I’m fine with that. However, as you say, no one knows if the new signings are any good, & while that is exciting to an extent, it’s a dereliction of duty if our CEO/ DoF think the whole team can be like that this season. They need to get a couple of players in with some experience of the Premier League to help the new lads. Then we might have a chance of a positive season. But they need to do this soon & not buy another couple of 18 years olds either a good shoe reel on tik tok. That’s how Souness bought George Weah’s cousin….
Very good read … if we can get a bit of luck , which is massively important, we cannot be any worse than last season … I had the misfortune to be at the last game against Fulham ( I know it was a dead rubber ) but it was the pinnacle of an utterly shite season with the writing on the wall for a few players , others wanting away and the manager knowing his position was being undermined ( or redefined)
I just hope the new management team and those on the park can settle in quickly and get their heads down and put in a shift …. And as pointed out in the article , we sell them on at a profit .. so not knowing their names now or even bothering to remember them in 12 months won’t matter cos they won’t be with us … let’s just hope for less of the badge kissing bollocks 😀
Excellent! Last season the football was that boring I was left looking at my pint of Northern Monk Faith hazy IPA on the desk next to my monitor and marvelling how they could make beer that looks so weird taste like nectar of the gods. Now we can look forward to fast entertaining vertical football with the extra edge that none of our opposition will have any idea to set up against us. Jaissle We Can Boogie as dogshit turns to gold as our new German firebrand of a manager goes mental on the touchline every time we score or bollocks our players if they make mistakes.
Superb piece Scott. Great start to the day. The only loss so far that lessen our squad is Bruno. Never understood the passion many of our fans had for Tonali. Name one game last season that he controlled / ran or seriously influenced???? No, neither can I. AG could have been so much more. Again take his pens away when did he show up. Bruno was critical to that team but that team could only play one way and when he wasn't there it collapsed.
SSN and all the mainstream say we are crying in our beer over selling that lot. As we all know they TalkSh*te.
Villa away cup
A riotous read Scott , the Tony bloom gag a belter, agreed Jaissle either going to be a Meister or a Scheister with no middle ground but hopefully we don’t have to move on to Newcastle 3.0 too quickly!
The Bloom model isn't working so well for my Other Half's team since the tanned, bearded one decided to jump ship after a year to go and manage at Mordor.
Duffed out of the Champions League qualifier to a 6-0 aggregate to a team that finished 26th in the Europa League last season, beaten by 2 goals in the last 5 minutes at Aberdeen at the weekend and spanked 6-1 at the real Stadium of Light last night.
It's maybe not the best model to follow if everything doesn't align perfectly
Agree totally. Clean slate, new broom and let’s see if these players can play. If NUFC can make the most of now being an unknown quantity, it could be a lot of fun. I disagree with your call it will work amazingly or crash/burn. We’ll more likely win a few, draw a few, lose quite a few and end up mid table. The fun will be in the seeing. Enjoy!
Onwards & upwards...if they don't want to be here then get them gone.That goes in the stands too, I'm really hoping the day trippers & experience hunters sod off somewhere else. ✊🏁
Absolute genius - nailed it - the Charles Insomnia gag made me laugh and brought back memories of much darker days so buckle up and onward we go
Good stuff. Feel exactly the same.
It’s Monte Carlo or bust and I’m wagering our own Brett Maverick is at the table 🤞
Great piece Scott. I think we'll surprise a lot of people this season. especially Arsenal (OK I hope not think). I've seen the training video and am really impressed.
Of course this comes with the caveat we need some serious reinforcements in the next couple of weeks but I am majorly optimistic.
Howay the 2.0 Lads
Oscillating between excited anticipation and nervous trepidation as the new season approaches my heart rate was calmed by this piece in the paper on a hero in a saner time:https://www.theguardian.com/football/2026/aug/07/jackie-milburn-pit-village-ashington-newcastle?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other
There are still some glaring gaps in the squad that I am concerned about and not currently even seeing rumours about us filling. Both full-back positions need cover and a centre forward would have been my number one priority at the start of the summer. One, or both, of Woltemade and Wissa need shifting out to make room for a replacement, although we'd be looking at taking a massive loss on both of them.
Find a buyer first
Too funny. Honestly, I was thinking about the same thing yesterday after reading about Brunos departure.
Some of the time these rebuilds do crash and burn. Once in a blue moon they mesh quickly and catch fire. I'm just hoping they can adapt quickly, address deficiencies when they arise, and end the season with a decent club...
And stay up. It would be nice if we weren't in a relegation battle all season. Seeing as I've never heard of half of these new guys before they signed, I'd call that a win.
What a great read it’s brightened my day! But remember - don’t anyone waste your money getting names added to shirts.
‘We secretly love it when we crash & burn as well’. No we don’t! I’ve no desire to go back to watch the kind of rubbish served up during the Ashley years or with Ossie’s Army in 91/92. I agree entirely that we shouldn’t keep anyone who doesn’t want to be there & I also agree that our ‘new model’ has more or less been forced on us by the PSR rules & regulations that straightjacket any team wanting to really challenge the top 6. I also agree that this basically means we’ve joined Sunderland, Brighton, Bournemouth etc to be a feeder club for those top 6, with the outside possibility of a cup run/win to give something to aim for. And, to a certain extent, I’m fine with that. However, as you say, no one knows if the new signings are any good, & while that is exciting to an extent, it’s a dereliction of duty if our CEO/ DoF think the whole team can be like that this season. They need to get a couple of players in with some experience of the Premier League to help the new lads. Then we might have a chance of a positive season. But they need to do this soon & not buy another couple of 18 years olds either a good shoe reel on tik tok. That’s how Souness bought George Weah’s cousin….
Very good read … if we can get a bit of luck , which is massively important, we cannot be any worse than last season … I had the misfortune to be at the last game against Fulham ( I know it was a dead rubber ) but it was the pinnacle of an utterly shite season with the writing on the wall for a few players , others wanting away and the manager knowing his position was being undermined ( or redefined)
I just hope the new management team and those on the park can settle in quickly and get their heads down and put in a shift …. And as pointed out in the article , we sell them on at a profit .. so not knowing their names now or even bothering to remember them in 12 months won’t matter cos they won’t be with us … let’s just hope for less of the badge kissing bollocks 😀
Excellent! Last season the football was that boring I was left looking at my pint of Northern Monk Faith hazy IPA on the desk next to my monitor and marvelling how they could make beer that looks so weird taste like nectar of the gods. Now we can look forward to fast entertaining vertical football with the extra edge that none of our opposition will have any idea to set up against us. Jaissle We Can Boogie as dogshit turns to gold as our new German firebrand of a manager goes mental on the touchline every time we score or bollocks our players if they make mistakes.
Loving your thinking - thanks for cheering me up!
Peace.