THE SPECIAL - Arsenal Away!

Arsenal v Newcastle United, Emirates Stadium, 18/May/25, KO:16:30, Premier League.

The last away game of a very long but outstanding season.

It’s Arsenal and we are on the cusp of one of the best outcomes of any of our seasons ever. If you take away the title seasons, not many can better winning a cup and qualifying for Europe's top competition.

We are not there yet though. The rotund lady was getting on to the podium after Sunday's win over Chelsea, but wins for Villa and the Blues on Friday have got her sitting down on her comfy chair again.

The Newcastle brief is simple. Win both games and we can look forward to the top table of European football from September until January next year. If only it was that simple.

If you could handpick two fixtures to see you through, you probably wouldn't pick either of the ones we've got. Today will be as hard as nails and Everton are just Everton.

Firstly let's deal with today. Arsenal may be second, but the fact they still have to win this game to make sure of a top five finish shows how weak they have been since early April. The run to the Champions League semi-final masked a real “arses gone“ moment in the Premier League.

For a side whose modus operandi was to win the league, the pressure is huge to get the Champions League place. We must get into them and keep at them even if we go behind. They love a draw and if that's what's on offer, I'd take your hand off right now.

I remember when PSG had completed the job against Arsenal in Paris a few weeks ago, some Newcastle wag said on social media “They should have brought Isak on“.

Hilarious as it was at the time, it actually got me thinking that a lot of Arsenal fans (the loudest and most irritating) seem to think it's a matter of time before Isak swaps Jesmond for Islington. What would really knock their pan in is if Isak repeated the lethal Carabao cup semi-final performance and we finished above them. And we qualified for the Champions League and they didn't* and Isak stayed with us. And Arteta got the sack. Then Sunderland lost the play off final, Manchester United lost the Europa League final and Pickford dropped one in his own net next week. Put your money on all of them, I dare you.

* Caveat: I know they play Southampton next week. I know, I know.

Don't stop this runaway train of perfect scenarios I've just got on without paying. Please!

The team we play next week will be shouting at us thirty times in two hours “if you know your history”. Well, the goal line has played a massive part in games between us and the Gunners.

I mean how funny was the Joe Willock one last season? You can guarantee it will get mentioned by one of their supporters and Sky will probably get it slowed down by someone who works for NASA to prove it was out. I was right behind it and it looked out, but that made it even funnier.

One thing that could beat that I suppose was if the decision cost them some silverware…1932. Wembley. The FA Cup final. We were losing and not playing well when a long ball looked like it had gone out for a goal kick. Jimmy Richardson was having none of that ‘out’ shite and crossed for Jack Allen to equalise. Allen scored again and we won.

Imagine the London press at the time?

Richardson, Allen, and indeed Willock and Joelinton. We salute you. Get into them!

Oh, another piece of history for you to take to the away end to impress/bore your mates with is that we have won the same amount of European trophies as them. The Intertoto counts, ok.

If you think it doesn't, you were obviously not drinking Warsteiner in Munich as we played Munich 1860 in the early 2000s. Remember them? Nice blue kit, loads of tashes and Thomas Häßler. Häßler would be right in my five a side team, but he hasn't played for either the Toon or Arsenal so don't even bother turning up Tommy.

Sometimes you have to make things up to make it better. I mean everything in the Sopranos didn't really happen, so we are short of a keeper so we are sticking big Sol Campbell in nets. Sometimes your keeper doesn't turn up or someone is injured so they go in instead. Campbell played like he was injured for us, so put the gloves on but stop talking about the Tories please.

Isaac Hayden is sweeping up at the back and Joe Willock is doing all the running up and down the court because those lazy bastards Andy Cole and Supermac are not getting back to defend but scoring tonnes of goals and being as cool as fuck.

Kenny Sansom might have to come on, but more likely George Eastham who's brilliant but he's at the desk of the sports centre currently sorting out the yearly bill.

To whet your appetite you can read the report from our incredible performance in January down there by clicking on the image above.

It remains a flawless away performance in which we were uncharacteristically disciplined, lethal, and extravagant with it. We even took our best players off with twenty minutes left. The ball was a little soft though. It was! Listen to the man.

Do you Know Les Cash? He may, or may not, be a relation to the ‘Man in Black’ but read his call to arms from earlier this week by clicking here, or you can read some exclusive and very revealing transcripts from our hierarchy below.

Matthew gets a hold of those because he knows someone who used to be in the Stasi (this is true - ed.). Just leave it there, ok.

One more thing. I like to let you know of interesting things happening when it's my turn for the Special and I'd like to point you on the way to a brilliant sounding alternative music festival next weekend. It is played across Newcastle, North Shields and Tynemouth and it's called ‘A Stones Throw’.

Around 50 bands, some you've heard of some not. It includes a band from Glasgow much hyped called Humour and unlike usually when they are all hyped up, they are actually really good. Could be an Arctic Monkeys playing at the Cumberland Arms moment.

Help support your local music venues.

Back to the match. Do what we do best. Be mad, be loud and be absolutely mint. The end.

Scott Robson

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Other Stuff

Get your tickets here

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Eddie Howe Press Conference v Arsenal

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Hospital Ball

Good to see our manager and the club recognise the great work of the NHS this last week following Eddie Howe’s recent medical emergency. Click here

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Chelsea Reaction Podcast

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Political Football

Interesting piece regards the Arsenal kitman Mark Bonnick who was sacked recently for making tweets regards the appalling situation in Gaza and who is now taking the club who he worked for over two decades to an Employment Tribunal for discrimination. You can read the background here

It’ll be instructive to see if Mikel Arteta is asked about this in his press conference … you know as Eddie Howe was a couple of seasons ago at Chelsea … about Saudi Arabia human rights abuses. Don’t hold you breath.

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City Tour

Excellent short film about Newcastle, the city and our football club which is worth a bit of your time.

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Football Is War

We promise we have no affiliation with the Football Heritage podcast but they do insist on knocking out stuff that is of interest to boring, speccy b*stards like us so we will keep plugging their interesting crack here. This pod is particularly good and we commend it to our fellow boring, speccy b*stards …

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Random Football Stickers of Tyneside

High Level Bridge, Newcastle side. Green Brigade (Celtic) - Union Bears (Rangers).

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Booked

Here’s what looks to be a great new book from former Newcastle United player, physio and accomplished author Paul Ferris whose previous two brilliant books Mag readers have enjoyed reading.

You can get at the new book here directly from the publisher and with a 30% discount sorted by our Newcastle United Supporters Trust - NUFCTRUST30.

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Scot’s Wahey!

Not surprisingly, United’s pre-season friendly at Celtic has sold out which means we will take the thick end of 7500 Mags to Glasgow on the 19/Jul/25. If any of you are stopping over in a brilliant football city, we’d recommend tours of Ibrox and Celtic Park which are excellent. However, thanks to the Newcastle United Supporters Trust there is a discount on a tour of Hampden Park and the Scottish Football Museum. We’ll likely see some of you there.

Details here

Discount Code is ToonArmy20

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Talk, Talk

The TRUE FAITH Podcasts are by common consent, absolutely mint … for a pittance you can get a massive amount of high quality content doon your lugs most days and its only ever about our beloved Newcastle United … click here and very soon you’ll become a TF Patreon.

Join Newcastle United Supporters Trust - our club’s only members-led, democratic, campaigning, properly constituted, long-standing, accountable supporters organisation. Join here

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Newcastle United Fans Foodbank

Please donate what you can - support Geordies, support our communities - click here.

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Wor Flags

Click here to donate.

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